Updated: Nov 22, 2020
Throughout my life, I have always learned to stay quiet. To not say a word on what I believe in and what I stand for. As if it didn't matter.
As a performer, you learn not to get caught up in current events, politics, or societal issues. Yet you are also told to place these kinds of things in your art and make a statement.
Ironic and confusing, huh?
Nowadays, it is so imperative that you watch every little thing you say. Because every little thing could come back to you in the wrong way.
But sometimes, as much as the modern world would like things to be, sometimes life isn't always black and white. Sometimes it isn't always easy to choose love over hate or right over wrong. Sometimes it's not about winners or losers.
Sometimes it is simply about conviction.
In a Facebook post I shared this past week, I wrote a quote that I recently came to understand as I continue writing my next poetry book. This quote goes as follows:
"Stand strong in your convictions; for NO ONE can take the WARRIOR from YOU."
I have been so scared over the last few years of my life to say all that I feel. Like many people, my life has been filled with the sort of silence gained when those around you tell you that it's better to leave well enough alone.
But as I start to get older, I start to see that it's easy to runaway and leave well enough alone. It's so much harder and takes so much more courage to make better what is "well enough" and change what can no longer be enough.
I know that most people won't agree with me when I say this. In fact, in writing this I realize that more than likely I will lose some of my fans and those who have supported my music and my art.
But my art and my soul can never evolve if I don't do what I believe; stand in my convictions.
So, that's exactly what I am going to do.
I don't agree with President-elect Joe Biden. I don't agree with his running mate Kamala Harris. I don't agree with treating people like they are unequal to one another.
A lot of times we don't realize what we have until it is just too late. We don't realize who we are dealing with until we can no longer back out of our decision. We don't realize when just maybe things are not always what they seem.
Now you can call me whatever you would like. You can call me a bitch, a moron, or something vulgar. But the truth is; as a survivor of severe verbal abuse, bullying, and domestic violence - there is not much you can call me that I haven't already heard.
I stand for life. I stand for truth.
I do not stand for the genocide of children through abortion. I believe that certain cases like rape and incest and harm to the mother are to be looked at individually; for every woman deserves the chance to do what is best for her child.
But I DO NOT stand for killing children in the womb just because a woman simply "doesn't want to have kids at this point in time."
It's not easy hearing that you weren't wanted before birth. I know that my mom struggled with others telling her that it wasn't such a good idea to have me. To have my brothers.
I can tell you that there is nothing worse than the feeling of knowing that at some point you weren't wanted on this earth. Throughout my life, it hasn't been easy to reconcile with those thoughts.
But I know, within my heart, that though this life hasn't been the easiest - there is not a day that goes by I am not thankful that I am here. That my parents gave me a chance with life. That I am here sharing my music with you.
So I don't stand for the killing of children inside or outside the womb. And I don't stand for tax-paying money going to fund the killing of children at a 9-month pregnancy as Harris has claimed she would make us do.
Many people see abortion as "Freedom of Choice" or a "Women's Right to Choose." They see it as some kind of feminist argument that "it's my body, my choice." But the truth is; when you become pregnant it is not just your body anymore.
It is two bodies sharing one. A little soul growing inside of you, that, if given the opportunity, could change the world for the better.
So, no Biden & Harris. I do not support abortion. I do not support you.
I also do NOT support the defunding or reimagining of police in the United States. As someone with two brothers who place their lives on the lines protecting the innocent every time they badge up; I know what it's like to worry.
I feel the sting of anxiety and worry each and every night just as my parents, my brother's wives, and their children do. When you pray to God that it won't be the last time you say "I love you," to a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a friend.
Unfortunately, what most people don't realize is that police officers and those who work in law enforcement have families they look forward to coming home to. Children that they want to be there for as they grow up. Goals they want to pursue, just like you, and just like me.
They aren't perfect. They aren't all angels. And just like every other industry in society they have things that need to be changed. Things that once were well enough aren't enough anymore. But they are not the enemy.
So when I see Harris blatantly standing with criminals and claiming that my brothers - who she has never even seen let alone met, are racists just like the thousands of those who place their lives on the line regardless of the color of their skin, I say no.
When I see those who have never worried a day in their lives; living in safe communities and wealthy towns without need for law enforcement because they have enough money for "hired help" to protect them claim that somehow we need to "reimagine policing in this country," I say spend a night.
Spend a night in a neighborhood with a small child praying to God that a gang member won't shoot him the next time he walks to school because there's no police officer to protect him - I dare you to see what that's actually like.
When I see police cars burning in effigy and Black Lives Matter and Antifa and a handful of disillusioned celebrities calling for the killing of police officers, the stripping of funding to our law enforcement, and the hidden messages of making black the dominant race even if it means the killing of white, Asian, Hispanic or others - I say no.
All Lives Matter. Whether they like it or not. I don't care if you are black, brown, creole, white, half white, Hispanic, Asian, or anything you may be. I don't care if you are straight or gay or transgender and I don't care if you are a man or a woman or something else entirely.
I stand for love. I stand for peace. I stand for all those things that Biden and Harris and a handful of other democrats say they stand for but don't. I stand for unity.
I don't care about working with you just because you are of a certain race, or gender, or religion. I care about working with genuinely good people. I care about working with those who won't judge me just because I am what they used to call me when I lived in the poor ghetto area of a small New England town, "a little white girl."
I care about you.
I don't believe all Democrats are racist. I don't believe all Republicans are racists Maybe, I'm a little on the conservative side. But at the end of the day, I am independent from politics, from others, from society. I am not ashamed.
I believe that what's right is right no matter what side you're on.
But I can not stand with the direction in which my country is going in right now.
I liked Donald Trump and I still believe in him. You can call me whatever you want for that.
It was 2016, when I placed on C-Span of all channels, and saw Donald Trump at a campaign rally before he was given the Republican nomination for president. I saw him at his best. Without a speech, a teleprompter or a lectern.
I saw the real him.
There was a homeless war veteran in the audience. Trump had taken on the issue of serving and helping our military vets with healthcare and living. Mind you, he had no written speech in his hands. He was just talking to the people who were there. Like I would talk to you or you would talk to me if we happened to pass each other in the neighborhood.
This woman, a military vet, told her story. She had lost everything after she came back from the war. She was injured and suffered from PTSD. She had nowhere to turn.
So Donald listened. There must have been like a hundred people there just waiting for him to talk more, but he stopped everything and listened to her directly. He told her that he would help her. Right then and there. And that's exactly what he did.
She was invited to leave the audience and talk with someone who could help. No hesitation just help. I can't say for sure what happened to that woman. As a former journalist who is now a freelancer when I'm not doing music; I immediately wanted to follow-up with that lady.
I've had no such luck yet. All I can say was that they helped her. He helped her.
When someone stops in the middle of something to help a stranger, that says a lot about who they are. And no, they don't have to be rich to prove that they are something special.
It was at that moment, I knew I had to give Donald Trump the chance.
No, he hasn't always done everything right. His personality rubs people the wrong way. His past is up for debate. I get it. But everyone, no matter what, deserves a chance. It's what they do with that chance that matters.
And it's how we forgive those who need it, that matters to.
I stand by Trump because he stands strong in his convictions. Right or wrong, he may not apologize, but it is in his actions that he makes things right.
I know the media well. After all, for years during college (Communications/Journalism major), and after - just before I went back to pursuing my childhood dreams of music full-time; I learned. I learned that the media doesn't care about shining moments, they care about what's best for them.
I'm not saying that all media is corrupt or all journalists, regardless of who they work for, are liars. I am saying that it's important to be discerning. To not believe everything you hear and know that things aren't always what they seem.
I know that people are sometimes reluctant, to tell the truth, especially if it will hurt them in the end. It's human nature, we all make mistakes and it's hard to own up to them.
But being reluctant and deciding that the truth doesn't matter are two very different things.
Somehow, I can't understand why businesses were burnt to the ground during the summer and early fall when riots thrashed the cities both big and small around the US. Many of those in power, said nothing.
After surviving COVID-19, you would think those owners deserved a break. It's wrong to steal. It's wrong to cheat. It's wrong to kill.
And no, you don't have to be Catholic to believe that.
I grew up in a strict Catholic family. When I was 20, I decided that Catholicism just wasn't the religion for me. I am now (for the most part) a Celtic Pagan.
I still value things that I learned from my Roman Catholicism heritage. Like treating others the way you want to be treated or simply being against the devil. But people find God in different ways.
In America, we, unfortunately, see things in black or white. We don't see things for what they are; shades of gray. While some things are so obvious; like 'thou shall not kill and 'thou shall not flick off an old lady on the highway for driving a little slow; there are some things that can't be decided one way or another.
That's why winners and losers shouldn't have any bearing on how we run together as a whole.
I don't know what these next four years will bring here in the States, even if it is determined that Trump is the actual winner of this year's election. I do know that I will continue to live each day giving it my best.
I don't place politics in my music or my art, but I wanted you to know a little bit more about me.
I will live each day in my convictions, knowing that what I stand for and believe are the guiding forces that will help me break free from the chains of modern society.
I will never give up.
So, there you have it. The real me. The unapologetic side of me. The me that I will be braver to be each and every day.
I hope you're keepin' it real too!