When you come to a crossroads in your life you often find yourself asking which path is better? Which grass will be greener when I come out the other side of this path? Which path should I choose - which will make me happiest?
Over the past month or so, I've been asking myself those very same questions. Lately, I've been feeling like I'm in a fog - maybe it's Venus in retrograde or maybe it's being snowbound. Perhaps, and most likely, it is the fact that I am changing.
Change isn't easy. It forces you to grow and step out of your comfort zone. It forces you to let go and move forward. It forces you to choose.
In music, I have noticed that I'm not connecting the way I used to with songs that I love to sing. The magic isn't gone, but it is certainly not as strong as it once was. I could replace these songs with new songs only to wait until those songs become old or I could evaluate why the songs that use to catch fire on my heart no longer cause that same strong spark.
I realize this may be because, musically and spiritually, I'm at a crossroads wondering which path I should take - which path would make my fans and myself happy.
This is no small task.
Finding your "musical identity" is hard. I don't know how anybody can stick with one genre of music and be happy - it's amazing. For me, my mind just doesn't work that way. I find myself, for example, fighting over which music I like to before better; Jazz or Celtic, Celtic or Pop, Pop or Folk?
I'm starting to realize there is no answer to this question. I love singing them all. But I want to stay true to my sound and my creation. So, what should I do - any advice from those who know how I'm feeling?
I'm feeling like I'm being pulled in fifty different musical directions and I am about to burst!
The truth is that I can only go as far as I want my music to go which is why, despite everything, I will continue to walk the middle path of the crossroads for now. Learning about myself and my music and what makes me different from all those others who have come before me.
Though I can't be as half as good as the greats, I still can be me.