August is a special month for me. Among the multiple birthdays I celebrate with my family, the anniversary of gaining a spiritual mentor, and getting ready for the coming fall season; there is still one [precious] thing in this month that trumps all of those other things.
Three years ago, almost to the day I write this, I lost someone very close to me. I lost my baby girl, so to speak. I lost Majesty.
I've never opened up about this before, not in the public eye nor in the private one. Majesty was the kindest gentlest babe you'd ever meet. Her heart was like a fire from a humble candle that lit the dark and her soft skin was like the embers that made my heart spark every time I touched her.
As morbid as this sounds, honoring the day she died has become a tradition for me and my two other fur babies. I know it's because for the first time, I had an angel in heaven.
For those who have lost someone they loved more than life itself, it is hard to truly express the grief that comes with never touching them again, never feeling their hearts again - beating beside yours. At least never again in this life.
But as sad and as lost as I was when Majesty passed unexpectedly that night in August 2017; I am evermore grateful that there is a silver lining among each cloud in heaven.
I remember staying in bed, crying. The sun streaming warmly in my window as it set in didn't help me get up and live. Although I know it was Majesty's message telling me she was alright.
It wasn't easy to recognize the fact that someone so familiar to me was gone with the wind. Yet somehow, she was still there all around me. Which made it, at first, a little harder.
I guess my emotions got the better of me for sometime after she passed. I always asked myself, why when I can feel her here - I can't touch her? Why is her spirit so strong and yet I can't see her? Why am I to carry on without her in my arms?
Along This Road, my newly released single was inspired by these thoughts I first had so long ago. Time has gone on and while the strength of Majesty's spirit all around me has grown stronger everyday, it's a little easier to write now...to sing.
Probably because with each day her spirit grows, so do I.
And I know that's because she is my angel in heaven. My light in the sun. My fire in the darkness. And always and forever my baby.
She has a power now unlike any other, to keep me going forward.
One day, I know I will see her again. I will see all the ones I've lost in the end.
I will see God.
My new song speaks to the stages of grief that still continue to haunt me each day. For everyday I am without my Majesty, I continue to feel that grief. Some days easier to get through than others.
But there is glory in grief. In walking the lonely path...
Once you discover your purpose for being here when the one you love is not, you realize that it's only a matter of time until you arrive where they are.
Each and every one of us, no matter how deeply our souls are connected to another, has our own path to walk and our own destiny to live.
I believe it's God's ultimate plan. That's why every soul has a slightly different color from the next.
I believe that it's because of this ultimate plan, that I am still here. Fighting everyday and loving, every chance I get.
Majesty taught me what love really means and for that I could never repay her. But I know I can carry on...along this road.
Preview of Along This Road...Download Song w/FREE Lyric Card: DOWNLOAD